Tax Officials Detect Widespread Tax Fraud in U.S. Middle Class

Mass Audits Planned
(Washington, D.C.) National Tax Officials believe they have detected a new & widespread tax avoidance scheme rampant among America’s middle-class. Perceived by some as ‘Case Zero’ of what may come to be viewed as one of the most incredible tax cases in U.S. history, the investigation of Rachael Porcaro, a single mother of two boys living in Seattle and working as a hairdresser, led agents deep into the seamy ‘shadow world’ of the American working middle-class.

Ms. Porcaro reported an annual income of $18,992 employed cutting hair at Supercuts. Merely by utilizing their Blackberrys as computing devices (referred to as ‘Kashkaris’ when used in that fashion), tax officials immediately noted a discrepancy between Ms. Porcaro’s reported income and their research that indicated she would require a minimum income of $36,000 in order to reside in Seattle with her sons. Officials promptly commenced an audit of Ms. Porcaro in order to ferret-out the unreported $17,008:

HERE


While the year-long Porcaro investigation was underway, an internal memorandum obtained by Outside The (Cardboard) Box indicates officials subsequently determined that a shocking number of filers were living below the Deemed Minimum Income Threshold -DMIT (pronounced de-mitt). Outside The (Cardboard) Box was fortunate to be able to sit down with two unnamed, highly placed individuals - a Field Agent (FA) & a Tax Analyst (TA) - from the main tax office for a frank discussion of this unprecedented level of suspected fraud.
TA: The only conclusion that we can reach is that it is a vast conspiracy, most likely promulgated on the Internet.

OTCB: Ms. Porcaro was allegedly flagged because she was U-DMIT. Could you talk about talk about how you identify tax cheats?

FA: Well, we can’t go into too much detail lest we tip-off the cheats to our methods, but it’s really as simple as common sense. For example, I’m a working middle class person so we can use my expenses as something of a guideline for comparative purposes.

OTCB: Please continue.

OTCB: I get the sense this is big. Is it?

TA: We’ve never seen anything like it. It’s enormous AND it’s increasing.

OTCB: Increasing?


TA: Oh yeah. Our year-over-year analysis showed a huge spike in returns flagged for U-DMIT (*Editor’s note: Under the Deemed Minimum Income Threshold). And spot-checks of quarterly filings show the rate is accelerating.
TA: The only conclusion that we can reach is that it is a vast conspiracy, most likely promulgated on the Internet.

OTCB: Ms. Porcaro was allegedly flagged because she was U-DMIT. Could you talk about talk about how you identify tax cheats?

FA: Well, we can’t go into too much detail lest we tip-off the cheats to our methods, but it’s really as simple as common sense. For example, I’m a working middle class person so we can use my expenses as something of a guideline for comparative purposes.

OTCB: Please continue.

OTCB: To what do you attribute this?


LINK HERE Comedy at its BEST!