Friday, April 30, 2010

Goldman Sachs Reveals it Shorted Gulf of Mexico (Satire)


NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - In what is looming as another public relations predicament for Goldman Sachs, the banking giant admitted today that it made "a substantial financial bet against the Gulf of Mexico" one day before the sinking of an oil rig in that body of water.
The new revelations came to light after government investigators turned up new emails from Goldman employee Fabrice "Fabulous Fab" Tourre in which he bragged to a girlfriend that the firm was taking a "big short" position on the Gulf.
"One oil rig goes down and we're going to be rolling in dough," Mr. Tourre wrote in one email. "Suck it, fishies and birdies!"
The news about Goldman's bet against the Gulf comes on the heels of embarrassing revelations that the firm had taken a short position on Lindsay Lohan's acting career. 
More here

LINK HERE..

21 comments:

  1. This is just a joke apparently.

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  2. Can't see the article from that link.

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  3. That Guy is toast. What a jerk. Goodbye birdies and fishes... sick in the head. Even worse girls are attracted to people like that. Humans without devine interventiom will genetically destroy our genes with genes from ppl like fab. It make me sick to think these fuckin guys are methodically committing genocide on the ocean for personal profit. While all the wile killing people. How wud they know an oil rig is going down with insiders sabatoging a drilling platform

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  4. On a related note, isn't it curious that this enormous oil spill suddenly occured in the Gulf mere WEEKS after Obama annouced that he would once again permit off-shore oil exploration. As of this AM, the White House is 'reconsidering' that position.

    HMmmm....

    And to add to the irony, the leaking oil platform was built by.....Haliburton!

    I also imagine this will somehow be used as justification for a swift increase in pump prices.

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  5. This was a joke .... apparently.

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  6. Oh its satire. The rest is fair game

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  7. Another chance for "Dawn" dishwashing liquid to strut it's stuff for the sake of oil-soaked wildlife!

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  8. "Isn't it curious that this enormous oil spill suddenly occured in the Gulf mere WEEKS after Obama annouced that he would once again permit off-shore oil exploration."
    Yes....I've been wondering the same thing myself. Mighty curious....eh?

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  9. I thought it was sabotage too. Obama just wanted to fool people in this country that he was going to increase oil production. Gas prices are going to go up. And now this will give him the excuse to push cap and trade now. It will become his top priority. This is just the beginning. Murderers, decievers, liars that is whar they all are.

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  10. I hope it goes to 10 bucks a gallon

    Maybe then we can wean ourselves from the addiction.

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  11. if all or some of this is even close to true there is no time we are already at the tipping point. now would be the time to go or take up the offensive.no joke this if sabotaged would mean that the flag haS BEEN raised u either get out of the way or engage.if u encounter me challenge is thunder pass is clap anyone else will not have to worry about it.

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  12. I would give odds that the oil spill was not an accident. No survivors, whole rig just starts collapsing after an unexplained explosion.

    Off shore drilling means billions. Anytime there is that much money involved there are people who have a lot to lose, a lot to gain. They could care a less about human life or an oil spill to protect profits.

    That is the kind of world we truly live in.

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  13. Absolute sabotage. Such treachery flies right under the radar of the sheeple.

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  14. Yep, there are no online videos to explain why it was more likely no accident. Just like the Polish plane crash, just like the Titanic.

    The Oligarchs love their 'accidents.'

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  15. Yes its satire .
    Humour that has a basis in reality on the growing knowledge that their derivative bets paid out by the government for engineering a property and bond market crash by issuing Dud AAA bonds to suckers
    and then profiting from bets that they would fail.
    Americans are now cynical about the finance sector and their pals placed in government
    Outside of America there is much more cynicism and American economic and war 9/11
    justification bullshit is commonly laughed at.
    Satire ?
    But Anything is believable from the corrupt in the finance sector after the financial coup for the government to pay off the criminal derivative bets scams Of GS and others and is fair game for cynical satire?
    Shorting with derivative bets prior to 9/11 attack on america by those in the know (not Arabs ) to make a quick profit was real, not satire , but who made the bets is ‘unknown” and the money trail evidence was never investigated.
    It was more convenient to blame the “X" CIA asset Bin Laden for organising an oil and empire war.

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  16. Ya think Sarah the quitter was out there with their drill baby drill t shirts cleaning up the oil mess, oh you betcha they were, f ing hypocrits

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  17. You republican scum you got what you wanted, deregulation brought you 30 dead miners in WV, Oil spill in the Gulf, oil spill in alaska, you want deregulation, choke on it hypocrits

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  18. 10:28 narrow minded, incapable of seeing the bigger picture.

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  19. Oh I just don't know where to begin
    Though he says he'll wait forever
    It's now or never
    But she keeps him hanging on
    The silly champion
    She says she can't go home
    Without a chaperone

    Accidents will happen
    We only hit and run
    you used to be a victim
    Now you're not the only one

    Accidents will happen
    We only hit and run
    I don't want to hear it
    'Cause I know what I've done

    There's so many fish in the sea
    That only rise up in the sweat and smoke like mercury
    But they keep you hanging on
    They say you're so young
    Your mind is made up but your mouth is undone

    (Chorus)

    And it's the damage that we do
    And never know
    It's the words that we don't say
    That scare me so

    There's so many people to see
    So many people you can check up on
    And add to your collection
    But they keep you hanging on
    Until you're well hung
    Your mouth is made up but your mind is undone

    (Chorus)
    I don't wanna hear it cause I know what i've, I know what I've, I know what I've done
    I know, I know, (repeat) X 16

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  20. SABOTAGE...again.

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  21. i posted here a few days ago on this article.. the responses truly make me wanna cry. i am a guy. this is just the saddest shit in the world. u all for the most part are just at eachothers throats. Can u say secretarian insurgency in america. i literally moving to a farm this week. i just signed the rent lease yesterday.

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